Friday, March 9, 2018

Happy Potter Update # 1 (or--Just How Big and Heavy Is That Book?)

All right, guys, it's been a full week since I took up the challenge of facing the one major fear of my life---reading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix--and I'm making some progress on it. In fact, I've been really surprised to find that I'm enjoying this book a lot. I mean, a whole lot!! Much more that the other four books. The story had a slam bang beginning (Harry and Dursley getting attacked by Dementors) and the pace and excitement haven't let up since then. Now don't get me wrong; I don't mind a book that takes its time to get started but the first four books took forever to get going. Anyway, I'm enjoying this one so much that I look forward impatiently to free moments when I'm not working so that I can read a few more pages. That hasn't happened since the days when I was reading the first Percy Jackson books or the Copernicus Legacy books!

So I'm making good progress. I'm on page 227 now. That means I have only---

Oh, man!

I've still got 643 pages left to go!!

Well, time to redouble my MANLY efforts if I'm going to finish this thing before the end of March. If I could read 30 pages a day, then it would be possible. Fortunately, this will be easy because I'm enjoying it so much!

The only problem is, however, this book is so BIG and HEAVY that I'm getting worn down to the ground by carrying it around. In fact, I tried to hire a personal assistant to help me. I called Chuck Norris but, when he heard what book it was, he yelped in fear and slammed down the phone. Same thing when I called the Hulk. Yep, it's that big and heavy.

Don't believe me? Well, let me tell you--this book is so BIG and HEAVY that:

Strong enough for one but not the other!
I stood it upright and National Geographic called and asked where the new mountain came from.

I stood it upright again and the Charlotte city government called and asked if I had  a permit for the new skyscraper.

What the difference between Thor's hammer and this book? Thor is strong enough to lift his hammer!

I told you. Of course, you see I'm joking. But why should I have all the fun? If you boys know of any jokes (or could make up any) about how BIG and HEAVY this book is, send them along in the Comments section under this post. (gotta keep them clean, of course) I'll post them on my next Update and be sure you get one of the cool new bookmarks.

OK, I can't wait to hear from you! I've got to go now and move that book to a different location. If I let it sit in the same place too long, the building starts to tip over to that side.


Greg Pattridge said...

I've heard Dwayne Johnson, THE ROCK, never goes a day without doing a few curls with this book. You'll see the difference after reaching the last page.

Iron Guy Carl said...

Yes, but not he can do more than a few curls with it!

cleemckenzie said...

This is the workout opportunity of a lifetime. Whoever thought you could build biceps while reading? Brilliant idea.

Patricia T. said...

I'm so glad you are enjoying fifth book! They keep building and you will have so much more insight into everything by the time you read the sixth book. I loved that they were long, because that meant I had time to read them.

Iron Guy Carl said...

See there? When librarians say, "Reading makes you stronger," they aren't kidding!