It's Carl. An escape pod just landed in front of the library. When I looked inside,a droid handed me a DVD labelled "Galactic History Video Preservation Project--the Epic Duel between Darth Bill and the Great and Powerful CARLMAN, Featuring the Amazing Trail Mix Theft and the Incredible Dance-Off." The droid told me to watch this impotratant piece of interplanetary history. Well, imagine my excitement! I watched it right away. Oh, what and epic duel it was!!! The clash of galactic titans! I'll share it with you--if you think you can stand nonstop thrills!!
PS--I'm sorry I had to steal Darth Bill's trail mix, but if I hadn't, he would have grown to gigantic size and stomped the city to dust with his pink shoes!!